When we talk about domestic violence, our attention understandably turns to the survivor experiencing abuse and the person causing harm. Too often, however, there are others living through that violence whose experiences remain unseen: children.
At Urban Resource Institute, 65% of the people we serve are children.
That number should change how we think about domestic violence.
Children are not simply standing on the sidelines. They see violence, hear it, anticipate it, or learn to navigate their lives around it. They worry about their parents, siblings, and pets. They learn when to leave a room, when not to ask a question, or when being quiet feels safer than being heard.
That silence should never automatically be mistaken for peace.
This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, URI is asking our community to Hear Their Silence and look more closely at how domestic violence affects children.
For many survivors, the experience of violence did not begin in adulthood. It began in childhood, in homes where they were hurt or watched someone they loved be hurt. That is why protecting children is more than keeping them safe today. It is also about helping break cycles of violence so that what happened to them does not determine their future.
Our responsibility, then, cannot begin only after violence has occurred.
Through URI’s Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP), we work directly with middle and high school students across New York City to help young people understand healthy relationships, recognize warning signs, develop skills around boundaries and respect, and know where to turn for support.
Every conversation we have with a young person today has the potential to change a relationship tomorrow.
But prevention also requires adults and systems prepared to recognize when a child may need help, even when that child cannot yet tell us what is happening.
Throughout October, Hear Their Silence will ask all of us to look more closely, listen differently and consider what it will take to build a response to domestic violence that sees the whole person and the whole family.
Because if we want to break cycles of violence, we cannot wait until children become adults to acknowledge what they experienced or teach them that violence is never the price of love.
We must see them now. Hear them now. And build systems that respond.
Nathaniel M. Fields
Chief Executive Officer
Urban Resource Institute
